In love with misery
For a clear picture, I will mention how introvert I was, and how distant I've put myself from the enjoyment of Life.
But before that distance came in, I used to be in total awe, of the gentleness that each breath would come in me.
How the butterfly flutters its wings. How the bee sits on the flower as breeze. How the trees dance off their leaves. How the light reflects itself on the waves.
I knew not how to speak another language but that. I wasn't good with words, hence why I didn't speak them. Because, how can ever words come to describe Life?
Such was the frustration that hit me, during my teenage years, when I was kissed, and had my heart broken for the first time. It is there where I lost myself among the drunkenness of emotions. An unexplainable state of neediness for I don't know what. A pain that twitched inside with pleasure in grief.
Tell me now...how can one be in "love" with misery? It is illogical, unnatural. Yet for most people it is like that. They cannot imagine themselves without it, for it fuels their selfish relationships, and their destructive creativity. It fuels their drive, in their devour for Life.
I was like that. I would listen on repeat to same song that makes my heart ache. Yet, I am here...a creation in its process of continuous birth. "Me" dying at every breath, has brought Life to an inseparable unfolding. It is from here, that I reach to you. Come, and enter the space of your own Heart, that is free from all the turbulence of the mind and its greedy emotions. Come, and listen to this pulse of Love.